Oh God, this reminds me of ckuddy
Today in the midst of my emotions, i hid in the dressing room for a second to collect my tears, i looked in the mirror, fixed my makeup and noticed something hanging from the clothing rack, it was a small simple necklace with a plastic cross at the end. I grabbed it at the end of my shift, balled it in my fist and said a small prayer. I placed it around my neck and up until now was reminded of it once more. As blind as I am to all of Gods grace on my life sometimes he forces his presence in my sight. It Always saves me.
Albie and I made up!
Thank God because i was getting sexually fustrated. love you sugar :-*
I just need a hug, and to be told im loved and everything will be okay.
In pain, i almost stayed in my bed BUT i have to go to clinical i already missed one day and im only allowed two per term. I went to bed at 1 (like a dumbass) after getting off of work, everytime Albie and I fight i can’t sleep. I need some crack, AKA a Rockstar, or Mocha Monster and better pain medication this weather has my knees pounding and swollen. *sighs
alright im done complaining. Time to suck todays dick!
My Grandma
My grandma from my dads side i heard was an amazing woman, she had two boys and moved them all by herself to san diego from LA. She wrote books on her free time (the little she had) and worked two jobs to support my uncle and dad. I wish i wouldve met her, my uncle stayed with us briefly last november and couldn’t stop staring at me in claims that i looked exactly like his mom, down to her mannerisms. Ive never met her, only in pictures. She suffered alot in her lifetime including being beat by a man she loved all the while living with lupus and autoimmune disease that slowly deteriorates your organs and other body parts. My grandma was poor and never worried my father with the thought of his only parent being sick, so up until she was no longer able to fight it my dad knew the condition she was living with. I admire a woman ive never met, but know so well. When i start to feel weak, when the thought of Aidens dad pains me, i think of her. I think of how strong BOTH my grandmothers were and i stand a little taller. Im the grandaughter of incredible women, i know everything will be beautiful in the end.
Next week im pretty excited to finally have paid for my CNA and be able to take the test. Ive been talking to my buddy about getting into San Diego hospice the facility after i pass my test, either that or ill go to my mom for a reference as a husk in L&D. Even if i ended up working at a long term care noc shift ill be okay with that as long as im getting paid more than 8 dollars an hour ill be happy to do more things with Aiden. Its kind of exciting that in the next few months things will be changing. Especially before the holidays. Ive put Aiden on a waiting list for this well known elementary school in san diego it gives private school opportunities without the cost. Eventually ill put him in private school once i finish nursing school, and even though hes 2 , Ive been thinking alot about thr future. I hope.things go as planned
